tumbling down

when the parents are away, the kids are expected to take over some of the daily duties that keep the household in tip-top shape. like running the dishwasher for instance, or watering the plants. or, as is the case with my brother and i, taking the pets for their twice daily dump-run. logan, our cat, is no problem, because he is a cat and he doesn't need a human to tell him when and where to shit. what a champ. but toby, our dog, is another story. i was instructed to feed him in the morning and then immediately take him outside so that he wouldn't relieve himself in the house. so that's exactly what i have been doing and i haven't run into any major obstacles.

so this morning he pisses, then he craps, then he does that involuntary kicking motion with his hind legs and gallops toward me...like he is so fucking happy to have shit all by himself. so i'm thinking, i guess i'll take him with me while i walk to go get the paper. it's a beautiful morning, why not? ten seconds later his rear is touching our driveway and he's got that "here it comes" look in his eyes. i'm tugging on the leash as hard as i can to try and prevent him from doing it right there on our damn driveway! why can't he take two steps to the right where there is foliage!? but he won't budge--despite my efforts--and i see two round pieces of shit start tumbling down our driveway. all the way down. i watch those pieces of shit tumble all the way down our driveway and i think to myself, i'll never forget this moment. and in a few years when i start craving a dog of my own i'm going to look back on this and ask myself, "is it really worth it?"