garbage

my little, red, ford focus, tj (named after the elderly man who sold it to me), has just recently taken on a new name: the sleigh. this name came about on christmas eve as my mom, brother, sister, and i were piling our groceries into my car from the third (yes, third) grocery store we had visited that evening. we felt like four sardines packed inside a sardine can...bags of groceries weaving in and out of our confined space. to my mom’s credit, she cleverly referred to my car as “santa’s sleigh”, a befitting name for two reasons. one, because my car is both compact and red. two, because one could imagine the bountiful bags of groceries in my car to be the bags of presents santa hauls to children around the world.

as far as i know, i am sure that no one operates santa’s sleigh besides santa himself. unfortunately for me, i am not so lucky. i am all too familiar with the “vehicle shuffling” that results from a family unit with three people, three separate jobs, and only two cars. that said, i wasn’t surprised when my dad had arranged for him to drop me off at work this morning so that he could take the sleigh to his own place of work. but what did surprise me, however, was what awaited me inside the car...

bags and bags of trash. i aint joking. my dad was actually proud of the fact that he had thought of filling up my car this morning so that he could swing by the old house and have plenty for the trash man to take on trash day. lovely. i don’t think santa ever had to put up with something like this in his career, correct me if i’m wrong.

12.25.2009

from our tree to yours...





...and a glimpse of our post-present-opening morning (i instated the rule a few years back that there is absolutely no cleaning until the last gift is opened. i prefer a carpet littered with wrapping, styrofoam shapes, and empty boxes... much to my mother's dismay).

merry christmas.

your blinker is your ammunition

this afternoon i made a poor decision: i decided to go shopping at the mall.

there, in the parking lot, is where every christmas shopper's adventure begins, because even indiana jones would have a hard time locating a parking spot. i think drivers in mall parking lots may be at their most alert state--hands on the steering wheel...eyes darting in every which direction, looking for shoppers shuffling their keys or signs of human life inside a vehicle.


it's a jungle out there. but instead of feeding on the weak, we opt for the strong, because they are more likely to accurately locate their car and exit in a speedy fashion. rookie mistake number one is choosing an elderly person as your victim because the mall will close by the time they back out of their parking space. another common mistake is following the herd of cars in front of you too closely. you have to keep your distance so that you can catch shoppers who happen to be parked between you and the next car.


and isn't it funny how when we are the ones driving we are always frustrated when people zig-zag their way through the aisles to reach their own car? it makes it incredibly difficult for us to plan our parking strategy. but when we are in the other person's shoes, don't we do the same thing? it's like the driver/pedestrian relationship: when a driver we hate the pedestrian, but when a pedestrian we hate the driver.

i actually was lucky enough today to witness an animal attack, figuratively speaking. the suv directly ahead of me and the car facing us on the other side of the lane were both vying for the same spot. both drivers had their blinkers on, neither one relinquishing their position. and we all know that your blinker is your only ammunition, unless you are a complete douche-bag. i waited there, wishing i had a video camera to capture the scene that was about to unfold before my eyes. as the parked car was pulling out, both vehicles crept their way forward. the car facing me darted into the space while the car in front of me-just a beat behind the other-did the same thing, horn blaring the entire time, inches away from colliding. i smiled to myself and thought, now i'm in a christmasy mood. anyone for hot cocoa?

a white whine

as i was reading these words from my monday post...

"back to the reason why the past twelve days have been rough...my family is in the final stages of moving into our brand new home."

...i couldn't help but think to myself, did i just commit perhaps the largest white whine ever? if you are not familiar with the term i just dropped, a "white whine" is
a complaint made by an overprivileged white person, most commonly an american.

i mean, let's review for a second what i was saying on monday: basically that it has been really rough on my family, ya know, this whole moving into a brand new house in a gated community and all. cry me a river is what i think most people would say to that. could be on par with comments like:

"why do the cleaning ladies always have to be here the mornings i can sleep innnn?"

and certainly:

"i hate that fiji water is square-shaped. it won’t fit in my cup holder."

(both courtesy of whitewhine.com)

white whines will usually slip-out uncontested, unless of course you have a sister like mine who will point them out to you. we laugh about it, and then we move on. it's like a brief moment in our lives when we can pause, reflect, and be thankful for how good we really have it. i had to wake up at 4:20 a.m. this morning to be at work from 5:00 a.m. until 1:30 p.m...but after that i drove straight home and buried myself underneath my covers...caught in that moment between a shiver and being the warmest thing in the world.

home is where the...

wow. absolutely unacceptable that i haven't written in twelve days. judging by what i am doing at this very moment you wouldn't believe me when i tell you that the last twelve days have been nothing short of stressful. but if you walked into my room right now you would find that i have crawled back into bed on this monday afternoon because...because i can. i have the day off. and even though i have the day off from work i feel as if i am playing hooky. i'm up to track 16 (silent night)on kenny g's christmas album and every so often i can't help but peer out my window to see if i can spot a deer walking in the woods.

back to the reason why the past twelve days have been rough...my family is in the final stages of moving into our brand new home. mom received the house key last week and has been wearing it on a chain around her neck ever since (well, since i told her that she looked like a rapper with that ridiculous thing on. it has recently been converted into a bracelet). anyhow, the house really isn't finished yet and we are all just trying to feel at home here.

you know what helped? my mom just came in and yelled at me for leaving clothes unfolded in the other room, proof that family bickering doesn't just magically go away with new walls and fresh paint. nope. we still raise our voices and we still fight about the same things, even though a little part of us all thought that that wouldn't be the case. so home is where the...fighting is? sounds about right.

much more to come!

fresh

i have this list. a list of all the things i would like to blog about (did i just become one of those people who uses "blog" as a verb?). and, of course, my list is categorized. categorized according to levels of urgency. some of my thoughts are written under "get off my chest this week" while others can be postponed until sometime "in the near future". despite my efforts, i've been absolutely horrible at following this time table because new events keep popping up, out of turn so to speak. like this afternoon, when my dad couldn't remember where he put his shoes to dry and then pulled them out of the oven. or earlier in the day, when i learned that even having a conversation about something as innocuous as coffee at work inevitably turns into some sexual innuendo (my co-worker seems to think that decaf coffee is like masturbation...why not go out and get the real thing?). so then i have to decide whether to stick to my schedule or write about the things that are more fresh in my mind. hence, the "fresh" category, one that can only exist in my head, never on paper.

today's freshness...

i think that my inability to stick to a pre-arranged schedule is just another reminder that plans are destined to change. the world is not going to just sit back and make sure all our daily lives are followed according to plan. in fact, i think the world is doing everything in its power to screw up our plans. it took me a very long time to realize this phenomenon. i used to believe that if i planned i would be prepared and successful. ask my friends and teammates from college and they will tell you that i planned my ass off. in fact, i planned so much it often pissed them off...took the spontaneity out of things i suppose. only recently have i come to the actualization that the secret to being prepared and successful is not merely planning, but adapting. adapting to what life throws at us...because change is inevitable.

so if you must make a plan, plan for that plan to change. because it will. and if you can adapt without feeling resentment toward others or the world, you'll be much better off than i have been in the past.

oh, and keep it fresh. no one likes a stale idea.