never lost, only transferred

i know that this next sentiment is going to sound like an echo, but today i really wanted to quit. quit my job, that is (not life). herein lies the irony: when we have no customers i am stressed because all i can think about is the money i am not making and the rent that is going to be harder to pay for this month; yet when we have customers i am stressed because i am running around with orders and bills and lemon wedges and dirty hands. dirty hands that should be washed (under hot water for fifteen seconds) much more frequently than they actually are (sorry to tell it like it is). rarely do we servers enter that “happy medium state” where the pace of the restaurant stays in sync with our own personal pace.

i could feel myself drowning deeper and deeper into that bad place…you know, that place where you return to your parking meter two minutes too late. but i couldn’t do shit about it because i had to work. work work work. so i released my anger the only way i could: by not saving the organic butter. you see, we have these little individually wrapped organic butters which we are not supposed to offer to customers unless they request them because they’re like a whopping thirty-three cents a piece or something like that. but i can respect that, which is why, on an average day, i don’t pimp out the butter and willfully salvage whatever packets are left on the table unused. but today? those fucking butters went down the trash abyss with the rest of the bread crusts and oatmeal and lemon wedges (don’t ask for extra fuckin’ lemon wedges if you aren’t going to use them).

woah, i think this entry has officially earned its “r” rating for profanity.

here’s the cool thing though: all the negative energy i was generating didn’t evaporate into thin air—it actually turned into positive energy for something else in my life: my writing. it fueled my desire to stop being complacent with my blog and turn the writing behind theboomeranger into something special (thanks to any of you who already consider theboomeranger special). what i have to do is pick one direction and run with it…run somewhere far, far away…where nobody can complain that the almond milk they use at home doesn’t make their green tea look this murky.