your blinker is your ammunition

this afternoon i made a poor decision: i decided to go shopping at the mall.

there, in the parking lot, is where every christmas shopper's adventure begins, because even indiana jones would have a hard time locating a parking spot. i think drivers in mall parking lots may be at their most alert state--hands on the steering wheel...eyes darting in every which direction, looking for shoppers shuffling their keys or signs of human life inside a vehicle.


it's a jungle out there. but instead of feeding on the weak, we opt for the strong, because they are more likely to accurately locate their car and exit in a speedy fashion. rookie mistake number one is choosing an elderly person as your victim because the mall will close by the time they back out of their parking space. another common mistake is following the herd of cars in front of you too closely. you have to keep your distance so that you can catch shoppers who happen to be parked between you and the next car.


and isn't it funny how when we are the ones driving we are always frustrated when people zig-zag their way through the aisles to reach their own car? it makes it incredibly difficult for us to plan our parking strategy. but when we are in the other person's shoes, don't we do the same thing? it's like the driver/pedestrian relationship: when a driver we hate the pedestrian, but when a pedestrian we hate the driver.

i actually was lucky enough today to witness an animal attack, figuratively speaking. the suv directly ahead of me and the car facing us on the other side of the lane were both vying for the same spot. both drivers had their blinkers on, neither one relinquishing their position. and we all know that your blinker is your only ammunition, unless you are a complete douche-bag. i waited there, wishing i had a video camera to capture the scene that was about to unfold before my eyes. as the parked car was pulling out, both vehicles crept their way forward. the car facing me darted into the space while the car in front of me-just a beat behind the other-did the same thing, horn blaring the entire time, inches away from colliding. i smiled to myself and thought, now i'm in a christmasy mood. anyone for hot cocoa?