my little, red, ford focus, tj (named after the elderly man who sold it to me), has just recently taken on a new name: the sleigh. this name came about on christmas eve as my mom, brother, sister, and i were piling our groceries into my car from the third (yes, third) grocery store we had visited that evening. we felt like four sardines packed inside a sardine can...bags of groceries weaving in and out of our confined space. to my mom’s credit, she cleverly referred to my car as “santa’s sleigh”, a befitting name for two reasons. one, because my car is both compact and red. two, because one could imagine the bountiful bags of groceries in my car to be the bags of presents santa hauls to children around the world.
as far as i know, i am sure that no one operates santa’s sleigh besides santa himself. unfortunately for me, i am not so lucky. i am all too familiar with the “vehicle shuffling” that results from a family unit with three people, three separate jobs, and only two cars. that said, i wasn’t surprised when my dad had arranged for him to drop me off at work this morning so that he could take the sleigh to his own place of work. but what did surprise me, however, was what awaited me inside the car...
bags and bags of trash. i aint joking. my dad was actually proud of the fact that he had thought of filling up my car this morning so that he could swing by the old house and have plenty for the trash man to take on trash day. lovely. i don’t think santa ever had to put up with something like this in his career, correct me if i’m wrong.
a boomeranger is defined as a child who returns home after college to live with his/her baby-boomer parents. add one year and 3,000 miles and you have me: one such child trying not to return to the nest. can i do it?
Monday, December 28, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
12.25.2009
from our tree to yours...
...and a glimpse of our post-present-opening morning (i instated the rule a few years back that there is absolutely no cleaning until the last gift is opened. i prefer a carpet littered with wrapping, styrofoam shapes, and empty boxes... much to my mother's dismay).
merry christmas.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
your blinker is your ammunition
this afternoon i made a poor decision: i decided to go shopping at the mall.
there, in the parking lot, is where every christmas shopper's adventure begins, because even indiana jones would have a hard time locating a parking spot. i think drivers in mall parking lots may be at their most alert state--hands on the steering wheel...eyes darting in every which direction, looking for shoppers shuffling their keys or signs of human life inside a vehicle.
it's a jungle out there. but instead of feeding on the weak, we opt for the strong, because they are more likely to accurately locate their car and exit in a speedy fashion. rookie mistake number one is choosing an elderly person as your victim because the mall will close by the time they back out of their parking space. another common mistake is following the herd of cars in front of you too closely. you have to keep your distance so that you can catch shoppers who happen to be parked between you and the next car.
and isn't it funny how when we are the ones driving we are always frustrated when people zig-zag their way through the aisles to reach their own car? it makes it incredibly difficult for us to plan our parking strategy. but when we are in the other person's shoes, don't we do the same thing? it's like the driver/pedestrian relationship: when a driver we hate the pedestrian, but when a pedestrian we hate the driver.
i actually was lucky enough today to witness an animal attack, figuratively speaking. the suv directly ahead of me and the car facing us on the other side of the lane were both vying for the same spot. both drivers had their blinkers on, neither one relinquishing their position. and we all know that your blinker is your only ammunition, unless you are a complete douche-bag. i waited there, wishing i had a video camera to capture the scene that was about to unfold before my eyes. as the parked car was pulling out, both vehicles crept their way forward. the car facing me darted into the space while the car in front of me-just a beat behind the other-did the same thing, horn blaring the entire time, inches away from colliding. i smiled to myself and thought, now i'm in a christmasy mood. anyone for hot cocoa?
there, in the parking lot, is where every christmas shopper's adventure begins, because even indiana jones would have a hard time locating a parking spot. i think drivers in mall parking lots may be at their most alert state--hands on the steering wheel...eyes darting in every which direction, looking for shoppers shuffling their keys or signs of human life inside a vehicle.
it's a jungle out there. but instead of feeding on the weak, we opt for the strong, because they are more likely to accurately locate their car and exit in a speedy fashion. rookie mistake number one is choosing an elderly person as your victim because the mall will close by the time they back out of their parking space. another common mistake is following the herd of cars in front of you too closely. you have to keep your distance so that you can catch shoppers who happen to be parked between you and the next car.
and isn't it funny how when we are the ones driving we are always frustrated when people zig-zag their way through the aisles to reach their own car? it makes it incredibly difficult for us to plan our parking strategy. but when we are in the other person's shoes, don't we do the same thing? it's like the driver/pedestrian relationship: when a driver we hate the pedestrian, but when a pedestrian we hate the driver.
i actually was lucky enough today to witness an animal attack, figuratively speaking. the suv directly ahead of me and the car facing us on the other side of the lane were both vying for the same spot. both drivers had their blinkers on, neither one relinquishing their position. and we all know that your blinker is your only ammunition, unless you are a complete douche-bag. i waited there, wishing i had a video camera to capture the scene that was about to unfold before my eyes. as the parked car was pulling out, both vehicles crept their way forward. the car facing me darted into the space while the car in front of me-just a beat behind the other-did the same thing, horn blaring the entire time, inches away from colliding. i smiled to myself and thought, now i'm in a christmasy mood. anyone for hot cocoa?
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
a white whine
as i was reading these words from my monday post...
"back to the reason why the past twelve days have been rough...my family is in the final stages of moving into our brand new home."
...i couldn't help but think to myself, did i just commit perhaps the largest white whine ever? if you are not familiar with the term i just dropped, a "white whine" is
a complaint made by an overprivileged white person, most commonly an american.
i mean, let's review for a second what i was saying on monday: basically that it has been really rough on my family, ya know, this whole moving into a brand new house in a gated community and all. cry me a river is what i think most people would say to that. could be on par with comments like:
"why do the cleaning ladies always have to be here the mornings i can sleep innnn?"
and certainly:
"i hate that fiji water is square-shaped. it won’t fit in my cup holder."
(both courtesy of whitewhine.com)
white whines will usually slip-out uncontested, unless of course you have a sister like mine who will point them out to you. we laugh about it, and then we move on. it's like a brief moment in our lives when we can pause, reflect, and be thankful for how good we really have it. i had to wake up at 4:20 a.m. this morning to be at work from 5:00 a.m. until 1:30 p.m...but after that i drove straight home and buried myself underneath my covers...caught in that moment between a shiver and being the warmest thing in the world.
"back to the reason why the past twelve days have been rough...my family is in the final stages of moving into our brand new home."
...i couldn't help but think to myself, did i just commit perhaps the largest white whine ever? if you are not familiar with the term i just dropped, a "white whine" is
a complaint made by an overprivileged white person, most commonly an american.
i mean, let's review for a second what i was saying on monday: basically that it has been really rough on my family, ya know, this whole moving into a brand new house in a gated community and all. cry me a river is what i think most people would say to that. could be on par with comments like:
"why do the cleaning ladies always have to be here the mornings i can sleep innnn?"
and certainly:
"i hate that fiji water is square-shaped. it won’t fit in my cup holder."
(both courtesy of whitewhine.com)
white whines will usually slip-out uncontested, unless of course you have a sister like mine who will point them out to you. we laugh about it, and then we move on. it's like a brief moment in our lives when we can pause, reflect, and be thankful for how good we really have it. i had to wake up at 4:20 a.m. this morning to be at work from 5:00 a.m. until 1:30 p.m...but after that i drove straight home and buried myself underneath my covers...caught in that moment between a shiver and being the warmest thing in the world.
Monday, December 14, 2009
home is where the...
wow. absolutely unacceptable that i haven't written in twelve days. judging by what i am doing at this very moment you wouldn't believe me when i tell you that the last twelve days have been nothing short of stressful. but if you walked into my room right now you would find that i have crawled back into bed on this monday afternoon because...because i can. i have the day off. and even though i have the day off from work i feel as if i am playing hooky. i'm up to track 16 (silent night)on kenny g's christmas album and every so often i can't help but peer out my window to see if i can spot a deer walking in the woods.
back to the reason why the past twelve days have been rough...my family is in the final stages of moving into our brand new home. mom received the house key last week and has been wearing it on a chain around her neck ever since (well, since i told her that she looked like a rapper with that ridiculous thing on. it has recently been converted into a bracelet). anyhow, the house really isn't finished yet and we are all just trying to feel at home here.
you know what helped? my mom just came in and yelled at me for leaving clothes unfolded in the other room, proof that family bickering doesn't just magically go away with new walls and fresh paint. nope. we still raise our voices and we still fight about the same things, even though a little part of us all thought that that wouldn't be the case. so home is where the...fighting is? sounds about right.
much more to come!
back to the reason why the past twelve days have been rough...my family is in the final stages of moving into our brand new home. mom received the house key last week and has been wearing it on a chain around her neck ever since (well, since i told her that she looked like a rapper with that ridiculous thing on. it has recently been converted into a bracelet). anyhow, the house really isn't finished yet and we are all just trying to feel at home here.
you know what helped? my mom just came in and yelled at me for leaving clothes unfolded in the other room, proof that family bickering doesn't just magically go away with new walls and fresh paint. nope. we still raise our voices and we still fight about the same things, even though a little part of us all thought that that wouldn't be the case. so home is where the...fighting is? sounds about right.
much more to come!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
fresh
i have this list. a list of all the things i would like to blog about (did i just become one of those people who uses "blog" as a verb?). and, of course, my list is categorized. categorized according to levels of urgency. some of my thoughts are written under "get off my chest this week" while others can be postponed until sometime "in the near future". despite my efforts, i've been absolutely horrible at following this time table because new events keep popping up, out of turn so to speak. like this afternoon, when my dad couldn't remember where he put his shoes to dry and then pulled them out of the oven. or earlier in the day, when i learned that even having a conversation about something as innocuous as coffee at work inevitably turns into some sexual innuendo (my co-worker seems to think that decaf coffee is like masturbation...why not go out and get the real thing?). so then i have to decide whether to stick to my schedule or write about the things that are more fresh in my mind. hence, the "fresh" category, one that can only exist in my head, never on paper.
today's freshness...
i think that my inability to stick to a pre-arranged schedule is just another reminder that plans are destined to change. the world is not going to just sit back and make sure all our daily lives are followed according to plan. in fact, i think the world is doing everything in its power to screw up our plans. it took me a very long time to realize this phenomenon. i used to believe that if i planned i would be prepared and successful. ask my friends and teammates from college and they will tell you that i planned my ass off. in fact, i planned so much it often pissed them off...took the spontaneity out of things i suppose. only recently have i come to the actualization that the secret to being prepared and successful is not merely planning, but adapting. adapting to what life throws at us...because change is inevitable.
so if you must make a plan, plan for that plan to change. because it will. and if you can adapt without feeling resentment toward others or the world, you'll be much better off than i have been in the past.
oh, and keep it fresh. no one likes a stale idea.
today's freshness...
i think that my inability to stick to a pre-arranged schedule is just another reminder that plans are destined to change. the world is not going to just sit back and make sure all our daily lives are followed according to plan. in fact, i think the world is doing everything in its power to screw up our plans. it took me a very long time to realize this phenomenon. i used to believe that if i planned i would be prepared and successful. ask my friends and teammates from college and they will tell you that i planned my ass off. in fact, i planned so much it often pissed them off...took the spontaneity out of things i suppose. only recently have i come to the actualization that the secret to being prepared and successful is not merely planning, but adapting. adapting to what life throws at us...because change is inevitable.
so if you must make a plan, plan for that plan to change. because it will. and if you can adapt without feeling resentment toward others or the world, you'll be much better off than i have been in the past.
oh, and keep it fresh. no one likes a stale idea.
Monday, November 30, 2009
water runs dry
i can feel my blood pressure finally leveling off, my heart rate slowing down...even though the beverage i am currently drinking is technically a stimulant. i am in my happy place now, but i had to escape a deadly war zone and drive twenty minutes to get here...
i was already in a bitter mood when i walked into my front door this afternoon. it wasn’t the fact that i had worked eight hours but that i had received my first paycheck at the end of those eight hours and, well, enough said. someone forgot to add that extra zero. i rushed by my parents without saying hello and headed upstairs to change into sweats. then i went into the bathroom to “wash the day off,” or splash cool water on my face, something that never gave me the same satisfaction as it does now that i am a working girl. let me ask you this: have you ever positioned your head low in the bathroom sink, turned on the faucet, closed your eyes, and outstretched the palm of your hands only to realize a second later that no water is coming out? well, it’s a disconcerting feeling. “no water!?” i yelled in frustration. my mom had done it again: arranged for the water to be shut off in our townhouse before we actually were moved out of the house. i walked downstairs, royally pissed off, to face mom and dad. a war was erupting in our kitchen as my parents exchanged insults and excuses. i tried the best i could to silence out the crackling of bomb shells but that proved too difficult a task for me. besides, there was just so much to be upset about: no water, no television, no internet, and my mom had just finished off the last of the frozen peas. i guess now is a good time to also mention that our dryer is broken, so our upstairs resembles the alleyways in chinatown, san francisco. i took shelter in the corner of the kitchen and began to eat chocolate chip after chocolate chip (something i now realize i do when i am either stressed, dying of boredom, or apparently talking to my friend from home because i did that yesterday and polished off half a bag). anyways, at one point i told my dad to shut up, for which he quickly responded, “you tell me to shut up and you can move out”. talk about a weapon of mass destruction. i guess this is what it has come down to? i thought only live-in couples said this to one another...
well, after polishing off my lunch, i packed up my things and got the hell out of there. i’ve learned that sometimes the best thing to do is leave a family warzone, not stay and contribute to it. i don’t plan on returning until well after dark. when the dust has settled. and the water is turned back on.
i was already in a bitter mood when i walked into my front door this afternoon. it wasn’t the fact that i had worked eight hours but that i had received my first paycheck at the end of those eight hours and, well, enough said. someone forgot to add that extra zero. i rushed by my parents without saying hello and headed upstairs to change into sweats. then i went into the bathroom to “wash the day off,” or splash cool water on my face, something that never gave me the same satisfaction as it does now that i am a working girl. let me ask you this: have you ever positioned your head low in the bathroom sink, turned on the faucet, closed your eyes, and outstretched the palm of your hands only to realize a second later that no water is coming out? well, it’s a disconcerting feeling. “no water!?” i yelled in frustration. my mom had done it again: arranged for the water to be shut off in our townhouse before we actually were moved out of the house. i walked downstairs, royally pissed off, to face mom and dad. a war was erupting in our kitchen as my parents exchanged insults and excuses. i tried the best i could to silence out the crackling of bomb shells but that proved too difficult a task for me. besides, there was just so much to be upset about: no water, no television, no internet, and my mom had just finished off the last of the frozen peas. i guess now is a good time to also mention that our dryer is broken, so our upstairs resembles the alleyways in chinatown, san francisco. i took shelter in the corner of the kitchen and began to eat chocolate chip after chocolate chip (something i now realize i do when i am either stressed, dying of boredom, or apparently talking to my friend from home because i did that yesterday and polished off half a bag). anyways, at one point i told my dad to shut up, for which he quickly responded, “you tell me to shut up and you can move out”. talk about a weapon of mass destruction. i guess this is what it has come down to? i thought only live-in couples said this to one another...
well, after polishing off my lunch, i packed up my things and got the hell out of there. i’ve learned that sometimes the best thing to do is leave a family warzone, not stay and contribute to it. i don’t plan on returning until well after dark. when the dust has settled. and the water is turned back on.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
recent developments
so the grandparents were just dropped off at the airport to return to their home in ithaca, new york. now it's just me and the parents once again. i have to admit though...i prefer to be the center of attention. it takes more chirping on my part to get what i want when there are other birds in the house. however, they don't spring for the good cheese and wine when it's just me around, so having company is great in that respect. the highlights of my grandparents visit would have to include me knocking their socks off when i set up an online show for them to watch on my computer, finding out that my dad had served them breakfast fixings on a baking sheet, and listening to my brother still quote "that's what she said" at the dinner table.
a wonderful discovery was made by my dad this afternoon. he was dropped off at the house so that he could catch the kick-off for the carolina game when... no t.v. signal. and on top of that, no internet connection. we both knew what had happened. my mom had prematurely canceled our cable and internet and had forgotten to re-schedule the date. my dad was furious. he had to control his anger though since my grandpa was reading in the adjacent room (thank god for that). i feel his pain, and i'm beginning to feel my own pain as the reality of the situation is slowly sinking in...no more coming home from work and relaxing in front of the television. no more checking my e-mail or perusing the internet when i feel like it. no more cake boss. this really blows. i feel like i could reasonably adjust to having either no cable or no internet for a while (i've done it before). but losing both? criminal. and i feel like the biggest 21st century pansy when i say that, but everyone has things in their lives that are hard to live without. for the remote huli tribe inhabiting the forests of papua new guinea, i'm guessing it's their ipod shuffles.
in other news, i'm eagerly awaiting word from two credit card companies that i applied to last week. since i've had a stable checking and savings account for years, i've always ignored the onslaught of credit card applications that have come my way, weary of the fine print that so many have fallen victim to. but my dad urged me to begin to build my own credit, so i met with a banker to discuss my options...the few that i have. apparently i can only be trusted with about 800 dollars. at least now i know what i'm worth. whether i'll be approved or declined to receive a credit card lies in the hands of some squirly man with a gut i suppose.
also, i am currently sipping on a medium house coffee with 2.5 sugar packets (i figure the larger size warrants a little more sugar) and moderately enjoying it!
also also, i have been rummaging through books that speak to our age group (like i promised) but i cannot reveal my findings just yet...need more time to give you a quality book report. patience is a virtue.
signing off from a deserted caribou coffee shop...
a wonderful discovery was made by my dad this afternoon. he was dropped off at the house so that he could catch the kick-off for the carolina game when... no t.v. signal. and on top of that, no internet connection. we both knew what had happened. my mom had prematurely canceled our cable and internet and had forgotten to re-schedule the date. my dad was furious. he had to control his anger though since my grandpa was reading in the adjacent room (thank god for that). i feel his pain, and i'm beginning to feel my own pain as the reality of the situation is slowly sinking in...no more coming home from work and relaxing in front of the television. no more checking my e-mail or perusing the internet when i feel like it. no more cake boss. this really blows. i feel like i could reasonably adjust to having either no cable or no internet for a while (i've done it before). but losing both? criminal. and i feel like the biggest 21st century pansy when i say that, but everyone has things in their lives that are hard to live without. for the remote huli tribe inhabiting the forests of papua new guinea, i'm guessing it's their ipod shuffles.
in other news, i'm eagerly awaiting word from two credit card companies that i applied to last week. since i've had a stable checking and savings account for years, i've always ignored the onslaught of credit card applications that have come my way, weary of the fine print that so many have fallen victim to. but my dad urged me to begin to build my own credit, so i met with a banker to discuss my options...the few that i have. apparently i can only be trusted with about 800 dollars. at least now i know what i'm worth. whether i'll be approved or declined to receive a credit card lies in the hands of some squirly man with a gut i suppose.
also, i am currently sipping on a medium house coffee with 2.5 sugar packets (i figure the larger size warrants a little more sugar) and moderately enjoying it!
also also, i have been rummaging through books that speak to our age group (like i promised) but i cannot reveal my findings just yet...need more time to give you a quality book report. patience is a virtue.
signing off from a deserted caribou coffee shop...
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
slightly stoopid
my tuesday has been, well, challenging for several reasons. actually, stupid might be the more accurate word. let me tell you the four stupid things i did today:
first stupid thing: forgot my lunch in my car. this would normally not be a big deal had my mom not decided to surprise me this morning by accompanying me to work so that she could use the car later. family is in town for thanksgiving, so you know how that goes. oh yah, and my wallet was with my lunch...so i survived eight hours on coffee, a tear of bread, and the arm and leg of a small, gingerbread man.
second stupid thing: i spent the last couple hours at work shadowing someone at the register (so that i can be trained in more areas within the company...which means more hours, which means more money, which means i'm happy). during this time i spotted a girl sporting a unc field hockey shirt and, since reading the paper is my thing, i happened to know that her team had just clinched the national title. seeing this as a great opportunity to make a customer connection, i congratulated her championship status. then i proceeded to ask her if they knew who they were playing next. wtf? that was embarrassing.
third stupid thing: six hours into work with two remaining...my boss asks me if i have taken a break and, if not, that i can go ahead and take it now. i reply, "naw, i'm actually good." he asks me if i'm sure twice, then says that this will be my only break for the day. i assure him that i don't need one and go back to shadowing the cashier. "wow, that new girl...she really toughs it out for the good of the company!" hmm more like, "wow, that new girl...she really needs to sit down and eat something". note to self: unless i'm working in a corporate building with enough stories to successfully commit suicide off of, i don't think skipping breaks is going to impress anyone.
fourth stupid thing: the first thing i did when i got home was inhale some granola and yogurt and swap my work clothes for sweats. then i grabbed a cotton ball to cleanse my face...only what i thought was toner was actually nail polish remover. my face felt normal again after the initial burning sensation wore off.
and it's only just shy of 3:00 p.m.
first stupid thing: forgot my lunch in my car. this would normally not be a big deal had my mom not decided to surprise me this morning by accompanying me to work so that she could use the car later. family is in town for thanksgiving, so you know how that goes. oh yah, and my wallet was with my lunch...so i survived eight hours on coffee, a tear of bread, and the arm and leg of a small, gingerbread man.
second stupid thing: i spent the last couple hours at work shadowing someone at the register (so that i can be trained in more areas within the company...which means more hours, which means more money, which means i'm happy). during this time i spotted a girl sporting a unc field hockey shirt and, since reading the paper is my thing, i happened to know that her team had just clinched the national title. seeing this as a great opportunity to make a customer connection, i congratulated her championship status. then i proceeded to ask her if they knew who they were playing next. wtf? that was embarrassing.
third stupid thing: six hours into work with two remaining...my boss asks me if i have taken a break and, if not, that i can go ahead and take it now. i reply, "naw, i'm actually good." he asks me if i'm sure twice, then says that this will be my only break for the day. i assure him that i don't need one and go back to shadowing the cashier. "wow, that new girl...she really toughs it out for the good of the company!" hmm more like, "wow, that new girl...she really needs to sit down and eat something". note to self: unless i'm working in a corporate building with enough stories to successfully commit suicide off of, i don't think skipping breaks is going to impress anyone.
fourth stupid thing: the first thing i did when i got home was inhale some granola and yogurt and swap my work clothes for sweats. then i grabbed a cotton ball to cleanse my face...only what i thought was toner was actually nail polish remover. my face felt normal again after the initial burning sensation wore off.
and it's only just shy of 3:00 p.m.
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